Commander are you ok?
by Hikari2306
Summary: Hange and her weird experiment strikes again and this time, Commander Erwin is the victim.


_Another long day of paperwork. Sigh._

"Erwiiiiiiin~~"

Erwin looked up from his pile of paperwork and saw a grinning figure peeping through the doorway.

"What do you want, Hange?" Erwin sighed. _I don't have a good feeling about this._

"Hey hey hey what's with that expression?" Hange bounced in the room excitedly, stopping in front of the Commander's table and grinning madly "I've been doing experiments on how to keep our soldiers on top form." Hange said as she held up a round purple pill. "Once you eat this this you'll have lots of energy!"

"Really?"

"Yes! I've let Moblit tried some, he had so much energy that he can't stop running around! Imagine this Erwin! If we let everyone eat this during an expedition, imagine how far we can accomplish!"

"This seems too good to be true, Hange. What about the side effects?" Erwin sighed again.

"Errrr I don't know any yet. Come on! Just try it!"

"Uh, maybe next time Hange, I have lots of paperwork to do, I can't be running around right now."

"Maybe you'll have so much energy that you'll be able to finish the paperwork ten times faster!"

"No, Hange, get someone else-urgh!" Before he could finish the sentence, Hanji force down the purple pill into his mouth.

"U-U-Urgh Hange!" Erwin choked.

"That wasn't so hard isn't it? How do you feel? How does it taste like? Moblit said it taste like grapes."

"Seems tasteless, and I don't feel any different either."

"Huh? Really?"

"Yes Hange. Maybe it doesn't work on everyone. Now I've eaten your magical pill, will you leave me alone now?"

"…Hmm maybe it does not work on everyone. Oh well." Hange left the room with a sullen face.

Sighing again for like the tenth time, Erwin returned to his huge pile of paperwork.

Suddenly he dreaded doing the paperwork a lot. _Oh god. No matter how much time I've spent on it, there is still so much to be done. It's a never-ending pile of hell, I'm never going get out of it… Help!_

"Oi Erwin!" Levi came barging in, slamming the door open so hard that it almost came off the edge. "Did you see shitty gl- What the hell?"

Erwin is now covering his mortified face in his big hands. Levi had never seen Erwin like this before; the Commander does not show fear on his face, something must have happened. "What the shit happened?"

"L-L-Levi its you… HELP ME!"

"What?"

"T-This pile of paperwork is s-scary! No matter how much I've done it just keeps getting more and more every day. It's never-ending! It is going to bury me alive! Alive!" Erwin cried out with a pleading face and started sobbing.

"What? You're panicking because of this? Tch I think you've been stuck inside here for too long, go out and get some air old man."

"I-I guess y-you're right… I should t-take a break from t-this." Erwin sobbed.

"Yeah, you better clean up first; you looked like shit." Levi said as he passed Erwin a box of tissues.

"Thank you." Erwin accepted the tissues and wiped the tears off and started blowing his nose in the most loudly and most un-glamourous way ever. Levi stared at him at disgust. _Ew, what the hell? I slept with this man?_

"Ahhh what a nice weather it is today, right Levi? Ahhhh" Erwin said as he stretched.

"Huh? Yeah I guess. Did something happen? You seemed-"

"Omigush Levi did you hear that?!" Erwin stood still, staring at the barrels near them.

*bump bump*

"Tch, probably some stray cat" Levi walked over to the barrel.

*bump bump bump*

"No Levi wait, don't go near it, maybe we should-" before Erwin can even finish his sentence, Levi kicked the barrel, and a cat jumped out from behind.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!" Erwin screamed like a little girl as he ran to hide behind a tree, or he tried to, the small trunk too small to cover his big body.

"WHAT THE FUCK ?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" Levi glared at Erwin, he had never heard him screamed out like that.

"Phew… T-that was scary...! Hahaha…" Erwin bend down with his hands on his knees and panted.

"That was scary?" Levi couldn't believe it; the man that faced titans without any fear on his face, is actually scared of a cat? "What the hell is wrong with you today! Are you being possessed or some shit?

"W-w-what are you talking about Levi?" Erwin said, looking confused at Levi.

"The Erwin I know doesn't panic over a pile of paper works and scream because of titans, much less a cat, _a cat."_

"I don't know what is gotten to me. It doesn't feel like me too, but I can't help it…"

"Did you knock your head or something?"

"No I didn't. But Hange did make me eat something."

"Eat what?"

"A purple pill, Hange said it is an energy supplement, it is supposed to give you lots of energy after eating it, but I don't really feel any different after."

"Must be that. I was looking for shitty glasses, she seems to be giving out some weird stuff to people. Why did you even eat it?"

"She forced it down my throat."

"Let's go find her, maybe she has a cure for this. I can't stand you freaking out again."

The both of them went around asking for Hange's whereabouts (with Erwin freaking out again over a butterfly flying over his head). They eventually found out from one of the cadet that she was seen heading to the underground lab.

"Oi shitty glasses! Are you here?" Levi slammed the door of open.

"Eeeek!" Erwin squeaked behind him.

"What now?!"

"Y-you sounded scary…Don't yell at me p-p-please" Erwin is now cowering behind the door.

"Whatever." _I swear if he does that one more time I am going to kill someone._ "OI shitty glasses are you in here?" He walked in and found Hange sleeping on the desk.

"OI! Wake up!" Levi nudged Hange roughly.

"Mmmmm Sawney… good boy… Mhhmmm… what…? what is it? Levi?" Hange stirred and squinted at Levi. "Oh hi Levi! What brings you here? Have you decided to help me with my experiments?" Hange said with a big hopeful smile on her face.

"Bloody hell, of course not. I'm here to get you to fix Erwin."

"Huh? What's wrong with Erwin?" Hange looked at Levi, confused.

"He became a scaredy cat after eating your stuff. I swear, if he starts crying or screaming like a little girl again, I'm going on a killing spree."

"Really?"

"Take a look at him yourself."

Hange looked behind Levi and saw the commander shaking behind the door.

"Oi Erwin, get your ass in here." Levi said impatiently.

Erwin walked slowly out of his hiding place and over to Levi and Hanji. He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "I thought you said the pill is supposed to be an energy boost."

"That's what I thought too." Hange said, placing her hand through her messy hair and started mumbling to herself.

"So can you fix him?" Levi crossed his arms impatiently. "We can't have this guy leading us in expeditions when he is already scared of a little cat."

"Hmmmm, I don't know really. Hey! Isn't it funny to see Erwin like this? Hahahaha!"

"You shitty glasses-!"

"Hange, d-do something please…" Erwin was afraid that Levi is going to shout at the top of his voice again.

"Alright, alright, I'll try to find an antidote, give me sometime alright?" Hange turned back to the desk and started rummaging through the messy pile of papers.

"Tch. Just let us know when you came up with something then. Come on Erwin, let's go."

"Um Levi?"

"What?"

"Can you help me with the paperwork? I-I'm still too scared to go near it."

"Tch, fine. Whatever. You owe me one, Erwin."

"Thank you Levi."

Erwin and Levi were walking back to Erwin's office when Moblit came running and knocked into Erwin.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Erwin screamed as Moblit fell on top of him.

"Omg I'm so sorry Commander! I-I didn't see you there!" Moblit said anxiously as he stood up and tried to help Erwin up.

"G-g-get away! L-l-levi! Help me! "Erwin stumbled on the floor, swatting Moblit's hand away while crawling behind the captain, as he attempt to hide from Moblit.

"What the hell!" Levi can't stand it anymore and kicked Erwin hard in the head. "Get it together you shithead!"

"C-captain! Oh my god Commander! Are you alright?"

"Urgh… Levi… Why did you do that for?" Erwin sat up and rubbed his head.

"I can't stand it anymore! You're acting like a wimp!"

"What? I was?" Erwin looked at Levi, confused.

"Yes! You're bloody scared about everything! Like a little girl!"

"I feel fine, Levi. What am I scared of?"

"What? Really? You don't remember anything at all? The horrifying paperwork? And the cat?"

"What? I have to admit that I am indeed dreading the paperwork, but to think that is horrifying? And cats are … adorable, why would I be scared of them?"

"Huh, it seems like you're back to normal. I guess getting hit in the head does it."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. It's good to have you back. I won't have to do the paperwork for you then. And you," Levi turned to Moblit "how long are you going to run around for? Looks like getting kick in the head help fixing the problem."

"Uhhh I'm fine captain, I'm f-feeling alright now. I-I'll be heading back to my work." Moblit ran off as fast he could, trying to avoid the captain's kick.

"Hmmm, was I really that bad?" Erwin stood up, still looking confused.

"You screamed like a girl, what do you think?

"Oh god. No one else heard it right?" Erwin hid his face with his hands. His commander image would be tarnished if other people had seen him screaming like that.

"Just Moblit and I, I guess. Since you're back to normal, you won't need my help then. I'll get back to my cleaning."

"Hey Levi?"

"What?"

"If I said I'm still extremely horrified by the amount of paperwork, will you still help me with it?"

"Tch. You wish. I'll kick you in the head until you're back to normal."


End file.
